Jul 2nd
Jul 2nd
“If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made...”
— George Carlin
— George Carlin
Jul 2nd
I’m still alive hope to reach 55…
Jul 1st
“People are dying now who have never died before.”
— Yogi Berra
— Yogi Berra
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Why should I get up in the morning?
Happiness. Even if your life is unhappy now, stick around for a few years. Nobody really knows...
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
“Within thirty years, we will have the technological means to...”
— Vernor Vinge, 1993
— Vernor Vinge, 1993
Jul 1st
poortaste:
via animepaper.net
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Respect your elders?
Jul 1st
Listen
Beatles vs. Genesis - A Day In The Life Of My Son
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
“When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes...”
— Jimmy Fallon
— Jimmy Fallon
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Award Shows
Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commercials. The Cleo...
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Computer Zen
Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred. A crash reduces ...
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s...”
— Phyllis Diller
— Phyllis Diller
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in...”
— Redd Foxx
— Redd Foxx
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Cow Parade/Phil Rizzuto’s Holy Cow
Jul 1st
Phil Rizzuto's Holy Cow
The broadcaster, who described himself at the ceremony as “a dreamer” whose dreams “all came true,”...
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Jul 1st
Books Read June 2009
The Yankee Years - Joe Torre & Tom Verducci (482 pages) Now It’s Time To Say Goodbye -...
Jul 1st
Jun 30th
Head Lines
Obama Signs Family Smoking and Tobacco Control Act Also known as Nicorette and Nicoderm Windfall...
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
PosTits…
Jun 30th
Titty Tuesday Twofer…
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Cows Can't Be Trusted
A police officer who was trampled by a herd of cattle has received more than £10,000 after being...
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Aah, summer is here… The water and my tongue lapping...
Jun 30th
“Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I’ll slam...”
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
“Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it,...”
— (Redneck Pickup Lines)
— (Redneck Pickup Lines)
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
June 29, 2009
As of this writing human population was 6,907,846,893 and rising every minute. As of the 180 days...
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
“Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of...”
— Ambrose Bierce
— Ambrose Bierce
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
“When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the...”
— Bob Uecker
— Bob Uecker
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Famous Last Words
Don’t worry! It’s not loaded. (Terry Kath, Chicago guitarist while playing Russian...
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Stupid Sayings
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. You can’t just let nature run wild. A low voter turnout...
Jun 30th
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
Billy Mays Pitching Drugs
BILLY MAYS HERE. I’VE GOT TWO BAGS OF GRASS, SEVENTY-FIVE PELLETS OF MESCALINE, FIVE SHEETS OF...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
Billy Mays should have been pitching...
Hi, Billy Mays here for Super Embalmo! Keeps the dead from decomposing for a full 2 years! This...
Jun 29th
Brian Wilson is hungry…
Jun 29th
Listen
Paul Simon - Father and Daughter
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
“I was recently on a tour of Latin America,and the only...”
— Dan Quayle (who else!)
— Dan Quayle (who else!)
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
The Chain Unravels
In today’s New Jersey news was a story about a plague that is killing most breeds of bats who...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
“Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a...”
— Benjamin Franklin
— Benjamin Franklin
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
“Lose your dreams
and lose your mind
ain’t life...”
— (Jagger-Richards)
— (Jagger-Richards)
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
12 Inches
This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
“Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with...”
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
20 Ways To Say Your Fly Is Open
20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can see the gun of Navarone. 18) Someone tore down the...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
Guide To Porn
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trousers and find a cock...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
This Old Zine
Daily Cow is both a humorous and serious zine on the bovine cowmunity. There are no sacred cows here...
Jun 29th
Jun 29th
Song Facts
According to Beatles producer George Martin, Neal Hefti’s catchy composition of the...
Jun 29th
Jun 28th
With apologies to George Carlin…
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
This Is Willie Mays
In tribute to Billy Mays what follows are some photo ads by Willie Mays (no relation). Be sure to...
Jun 28th
Willie Mays & Jesse Jackson (very much alive)…
Jun 28th
Listen
Procol Harum - Holding On
Jun 28th
Willie “pitched” some products in his “say...
Jun 28th
The “Say Hey” kid is now 78 and still catching...
Jun 28th
“Baseball is a game, yes. It is also a business. But what it...”
— Willie Mays
— Willie Mays
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
“The front office will make up his salary on a good weekend....”
— New York Mets Reliever Danny...
— New York Mets Reliever Danny...
Jun 28th
It’s worse than that! Sure hope they pull all his ads...
Jun 28th
“What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.”
— Abraham Lincoln
— Abraham Lincoln
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
“My mom told me nobody will want to buy the cow if you give...”
— Debbie Pearlman
— Debbie Pearlman
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me...”
— Henny Youngman
— Henny Youngman
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental...”
— P. J. O’Rourke
— P. J. O’Rourke
Jun 28th
Jun 28th
“Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love...”
Jun 28th
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her...”
— Paula Poundstone
— Paula Poundstone
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
Listen
Supertramp - Give A Little Bit
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
“Your heart beats with my heart. My eyes see what you see. My...”
— Yoko Ono
— Yoko Ono
Jun 27th
Treat your pussy well today…
Jun 27th
“The thing the ecologically illiterate don’t realize...”
— Frank Herbert
— Frank Herbert
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
Andy Rooney On Prisoners
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for...
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
“One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well...”
— USTV Commentator - Sandi
— USTV Commentator - Sandi
Jun 27th
Jun 27th
Odd Facts
A snail can sleep for three years. Rats and horses can’t vomit. Leonardo DiVinci invented...
Jun 27th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“Death? Why this fuss about death. Use your imagination, try...”
— Charlotte Perkins Gilman
— Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Sky Saxon of '60s rock band the Seeds...
Sky Saxon, lead singer and founder of the 1960s band the “Seeds,” who had a Top 40 hit...
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jacko Jokes
Michael Jackson arrived at the Pearly Gates, only to hear St. Peter say “Beat it.” His...
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Antarctica
Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country. Ninety percent of the...
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Listen
Beatles - Carol
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
BJ For Fritos
JUNE 24—Meet Lahoma Sue Smith. The Oklahoma woman, 36, copped a plea last week to a...
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“I go about looking at horses and cattle. They eat grass,...”
— Sherwood Anderson
— Sherwood Anderson
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“Everything that I love is behind those gates. We have...”
— Michael Jackson
— Michael Jackson
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
X-ray of a computer’s innards…
Jun 26th
“Civil and political rights are critical, but not often the...”
— Paul Farmer
— Paul Farmer
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
Changes
Finally changed the theme for this tumblr scrapbook. Also, have enabled comments but there is a...
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“The mere brute pleasure of reading - the sort of pleasure a...”
— Lord Chesterfield
— Lord Chesterfield
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“If people concentrated on the really important things in...”
— Doug Larson
— Doug Larson
Jun 26th
thedailywhat:
In other news, Abe Vigoda is alive.
Jun 26th
Jun 26th
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,...”
— Mark Twain
— Mark Twain
Jun 26th
Jun 25th
sarahspy:
Things Whitney Houston wants to do chart by Emily...
Jun 25th
Yogi Berra a baseball player…
Jun 25th
Sunny Side Up
I want to become an egg in my next life. That way I’ll get laid every morning, get eaten every...
Jun 25th
Oscar Gamble, baseball player…
Jun 25th
“There is no evidence that the tongue is connected to the...”
— (Frank Tyger)
— (Frank Tyger)
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
“Some dog I got. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he...”
— (Rodney Dangerfield)
— (Rodney Dangerfield)
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my...”
— (Eartha Kitt)
— (Eartha Kitt)
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
Off Of Foo
Yeah, well the moist niblets went down easily enough. My shoes were on backwards so she said I...
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
Listen
Move - Beautiful Daughter
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit...”
— (Ambrose Bierce)
— (Ambrose Bierce)
Jun 25th
Jun 25th
“Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products...”
— (Mahatma Gandhi)
— (Mahatma Gandhi)
Jun 25th
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“MySpace has fired 60 percent of its workforce. They notified...”
— (Craig Ferguson)
— (Craig Ferguson)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“People who can’t get laid watch Star Trek and eat...”
— (Harlan Ellison)
— (Harlan Ellison)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Words On Ass
One of the most outrageous assaults young people have committed on common decency has to be the...
Jun 24th
Hit me again, only harder…
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“Between earth and earth’s atmosphere, the amount of...”
— (Linda Hogan)
— (Linda Hogan)
Jun 24th
Traffic will be backed up for days…
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“According to a recent survey, men say the first thing that...”
— (Unknown)
— (Unknown)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26%...”
— (Unknown)
— (Unknown)
Jun 24th
Woodchuck? Where’s the wood?
Jun 24th
Ooops!
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello....
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual...”
— (Unknown)
— (Unknown)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned...”
— (Phyllis Diller)
— (Phyllis Diller)
Jun 24th
Titty Tuesday…
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history.”
— (Noam Chomsky)
— (Noam Chomsky)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
“Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it’s...”
— (Tom Robbins)
— (Tom Robbins)
Jun 24th
Jun 24th
Goodnight Ed
I once saw a “Tonight Show” themed porn. I am not making this up. At one point, the...
Jun 24th
Jun 23rd
A frustrating loss. Gave up 3 solo homers. Worked out of a...
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
President Factoids
Warren G. Harding was an avid gambler and once bet all the White House china on a hand of cards –...
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Lindsay Lohan`s Scrambled Eggs
Ingredients 6 EGGS 2 BOTTLES OF TEQUILA Method 1. DROP EGGS INTO FRY PAN & SCRAMBLE 2. DRINK...
Jun 23rd
Britney Spears` Xanax Thick Shake
Ingredients 1 CUP FULL CREAM MILK 1 CUP MIXED SEDATIVES 1 TSP THICKENER 2 HAND-FULLS ICE...
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
“I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I don’t have...”
— (Isaac Asimov)
— (Isaac Asimov)
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Listen
Dire Straits - Twisting By The Pool
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Oprah's Big Ego
In the end, the biggest complaint about Oprah is that her ego now knows no bounds. The magazine,...
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
“Love lasts about seven years. That’s how long it takes...”
— (Francoise Sagan)
— (Francoise Sagan)
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Jun 23rd
Joke #45
A man is driving down an Alaskan road and his car breaks down. He phones the Alaskan Mobile Fixit...
Jun 23rd
Jun 22nd
Oprah's Vagina
Yeah, I know, you just threw up a little in your mouth. It happens. Actually, I did not come here to...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Sperm Competition
Looking at pornographic images of men and women together can increase the quality of a man’s sperm,...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Cows Leave MA Farm, Walk 5 Miles To NH
Two wayward cows decided to abandon their Massachusetts farm and walk at least five miles into New...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“There’s no such thing as soy milk. It’s soy...”
— (Lewis Black)
— (Lewis Black)
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
George Carlin Joke
Former Chief Justice William Rehnquist had an embarrassing moment in court a few years ago. During...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Listen
Traffic - Medicated Goo
Jun 22nd
I Got The Blues…
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“Sometimes it’s better to
light a flamethrower
than...”
— (Terry Pratchett)
— (Terry Pratchett)
Jun 22nd
The “Little Red” tumblr…
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will...”
— (Lewis Carroll)
— (Lewis Carroll)
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I’d rather walk...”
— (Ken Singleton)
— (Ken Singleton)
Jun 22nd
A sample of Kerouac’s fantasy baseball game. Much more...
Jun 22nd
Kerouac's BB Fantasy
Almost all his life Jack Kerouac had a hobby that even close friends and fellow Beats like Allen...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Awaken, Arise!
It’s not even 9 a.m. and I’m already nodding off. I get up at 6:30 a.m. but can’t...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of...”
— (Erich Fromm)
— (Erich Fromm)
Jun 22nd
9gag:
Connect it
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Mr. Exploitation
Dick Clark made a brief appearance in the documentary Bowling for Columbine. He was largely...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
New Year's Old
I must have really tied one on last night because at one point I thought I saw a zombie that looked...
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Listen
Beatles - Yes It Is
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in...”
— (Isabel Allende)
— (Isabel Allende)
Jun 22nd
Jun 22nd
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice...”
— (Epictetus)
— (Epictetus)
Jun 22nd
Jun 21st
“My father considered a walk among the mountains as the...”
— (Aldous Huxley)
— (Aldous Huxley)
Jun 21st
Dad & Daughter… Always Happy Together!
Jun 21st
This is a picture of my beautiful daughter Jessica who is...
Jun 21st
Left To Right: My father, Uncle Ed & Uncle Bob. This is...
Jun 21st
My father as a young man and my grandfather.
Jun 21st
My Father
My father’s name was Richard Robert Wyder and he was born in 1895 in Switzerland. He came to...
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
“Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of...”
— (W.C. Fields)
— (W.C. Fields)
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
“You know, sometimes a man just can’t satisfy all of a...”
— (Unknown)
— (Unknown)
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
“I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so...”
— (Paul Merton)
— (Paul Merton)
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
“The amount of “Steve Stories” I’ve heard...”
— (Tenebreux)
— (Tenebreux)
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
“I would dunk an oreo
in her breast milk.”
— (423)
— (423)
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
Car Strikes Cow
Saturday, June 20, 2009 By Michael A. Fuoco, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette State police said there was a...
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
S&M
This woman is cleaning her son’s bedroom and she finds an S & M magazine. She runs to her...
Jun 21st