Daily Cow

This is how I feel today!

Mar 31st

Books Read March

Ghost Town - Robert Coover Thursday Next - Jasper Fforde Queing For Beginners - Joe Moran Call...

Mar 31st

What’s this guy hawking?

Mar 30th

“God is in my pants being worshipped by a couple of nuts and...”
— Fark

Mar 30th

Listen

Traffic - Light Up Or Leave Me Alone

Mar 30th

Mar 30th

“The prime goal is to alleviate suffering, and not to prolong...”
— Christian Barnard

Mar 30th

Mar 29th

“Americans are a broad-minded people. They’ll accept...”
— Art Buchwald

Mar 29th

Mar 29th

“I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I...”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Mar 29th

Mar 28th

Listen

George Harrison - The Art Of Dying

Mar 28th

Germs, germans, bacteria, bacterium…

Mar 28th

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”
— Rodney Dangerfield

Mar 28th

Work makes me sick!

Mar 28th

“Making love in the morning got me through morning sickness....”
— Pamela Anderson

Mar 28th

Temperature is now 102.

Mar 28th

Mar 28th

Happy Caturday!

Mar 28th

“I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little,...”
— Jean Cocteau

Mar 28th

Mar 27th

“Oscar Wilde: ‘Do you mind if I smoke?’ Sarah...”

Mar 27th

Listen

Paul Carrack - Sunny

Mar 27th

Huffin’ & Puffin’…

Mar 27th

“Time goes, you say? Ah, no! alas, time stays, we go.”
— Henry Austin Dobson

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Fishing

When I was a kid (about 45 years ago) I loved to go fishing. My brother and our friends David and...

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Mar 27th

Mar 26th

“The Environmental Protection Agency says that traces of...”
— Craig Ferguson

Mar 26th

Listen

Heart - What About Love

Mar 26th

Can’t You Hear Me Knockin’

Mar 26th

Mar 26th

Morphine Thursday

Let’s see there’s “I Hate Monday”, “Titty Tuesday”, Hump Day...

Mar 26th

Hope Springs Eternal!

Mar 26th

Listen

Mark Farner - Easy Breezes

Mar 26th

A Call To Cud #3.pdf

A Call To Cud #3

Mar 26th

Mar 25th

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want...”
— John Burroughs

Mar 25th

We meet again Trebek!

Mar 25th

“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing...”
— George Carlin

Mar 25th

Mar 25th

Double Play Mix

http://8tracks.com/mixes/14792 Paul McCartney - Eat At Home Paul McCartney - Back Seat Of My...

Mar 24th

Listen

Paul McCartney - Monkberry Moon Delight

Mar 24th

A twofer Titty Tuesday…

Mar 24th

Almost forget it’s Titty Tuesday!

Mar 24th

Harper's Index

Number of times Walter Cronkite has attended a Grateful Dead concert: 2

Mar 24th

Mar 24th

“The rich are the scum of the earth in every country.”
— C.K. Chesterton

Mar 24th

Legalize It! already damn fools!

Mar 24th

Wordplay

Paper mill goes paperless… Tweedle Dum tweets Tweedle Dee… Outcry over outrage…...

Mar 24th

Mar 24th

“If faith can move mountains can non-believers move rivers?”
— David R. Wyder

Mar 24th

Richie Rich Richards…

Mar 23rd

“Two die as African crowd stampedes into stadium to hear Pope...”
— Drew (Fark)

Mar 22nd

Milkman plays the blues….

Mar 22nd

Listen

Moody Blues - Send Me No Wine

Mar 22nd

Moo Lady Grazes Upon My Thigh I pour some milk into her...

Mar 22nd

White Boy Cow Poem

WHITE BOY WANTS TO GET HANDS ON EXPER IENCE IN HOW TO DO GOOD WITH NAKED WO MEN IN PLAYBOY PIX a....

Mar 22nd

Hello, Cowgirl In The Sand…

Mar 22nd

Repast For Mylea

I sat in the mall minding my own business eating a cheeseburger, when a sallow-faced woman wearing a...

Mar 22nd

Another Caturday bites the dust…

Mar 22nd

The Pills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music!!

Mar 21st

Happy Caturday! Abe Vigoda & Charles Manson are still...

Mar 21st

Mar 21st

Trevor Burnside is “two-faced.”

Mar 21st

Click for full view. Green=suck vs. Fuck=blue vs....

Mar 21st

Cow Card #1

Mar 21st

Lost Origins #6

Alone among the sick heat he crouched and spat out a nearby window. Disgusted with the prospect of...

Mar 21st

Mar 20th

Listen

Genesis - No Son Of Mine

Mar 20th

Mar 20th

“If you suveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I...”
— Dave Barry

Mar 20th

Mar 20th

“If you live in rock and roll, as I do, you see the reality...”
— Camille Paglia

Mar 20th

Mar 20th

Listen

Bob Dylan - Red River Shore

Mar 20th

Bought a new couch today. Not very comfortable.

Mar 19th

Under The Dashboard

Here’s what’s under my dashboard: Dell Inc. Dell DXP061, 495 GB hard drive, 2GB...

Mar 19th

Mar 19th

“Science has done more for the development of western...”
— John Burroughs

Mar 19th

Mar 19th

AIG Stands For

Ain’t I Greedy Asshole Insurance Group Amused Internet Googlers ARod Is Gay Anchovies In...

Mar 19th

Mar 18th

“Administration to End Use of Term, ‘Enemy...”

Mar 18th

Radioactive Ice Cream!

Mar 18th

You Are A Bum

JERRY: So lemme get this straight: you find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair, in the...

Mar 18th

Listen

Rolling Stones - 19th Nervous Breakdown

Mar 18th

Used tumblr. for sale!

Mar 18th

Is it 4 p.m. yet?

Mar 18th

Mar 18th

Listen

Who - Little Billy

Mar 18th

“The habit of reading is the only enjoyment in which there is...”
— Anthony Trollope

Mar 18th

Mar 18th

Mar 17th

“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the...”
— John Burroughs

Mar 17th

Mar 17th

“There are tons of people who are late to trends by nature...”
— Jim Cramer

Mar 17th

Mar 17th

Mar 17th

Testicle Goulash

Ever since I was a little boy I listened to the elderly talking about testicles, when well prepared...

Mar 17th

Watch out for Woody Woodpecker!

Mar 17th

Somebody’s happy this morning…

Mar 17th

Morning Wood

Morning wood is a colloquialism referring to the phenomenon of penile erection following sleep,...

Mar 17th

Mar 16th

Black & White Habits #3

What will we do? What can we do? Can global warming melt our fear of failure or will we have to...

Mar 16th

Mar 16th

Mar 16th

Black & White Habits #2

The monotony of civilzed time traps us and stops us in our tracks and ties us down in yet more busy...

Mar 16th

Mar 16th

“Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity...”
— Dave Barry

Mar 16th

Listen

Stephen Stills - Johnny’s Garden

Mar 15th

Mar 15th

Black & White Habits

My nipples hurt. They are being torn asunder by the relentless pull of gravity. The brain does not...

Mar 15th

Time to walk Diamond The Cat!

Mar 14th

Job Well Done

David: I can't thank you enough.
JJtumblr: We're just an email or phone call away.
David: Have a fab Caturday!
JJtumblr: What's that you say?
David: Never mind....

Mar 14th

Ahh, yes back to color!

Mar 14th

Elvis Presley is Parsley. This needs some tweaking.

Mar 14th

Half-way there to color!

Mar 14th

Internet Tubes Cleaned

JJtumblr: Tubes all clean, god they were dirty.
David: Mostly Diamond The Cat hair, huh.
JJtumblr: Yup, let's give it a rip and see if the color comes back.
David: It's hard living in a black and white world...

Mar 14th

The blow dryer used to clean my tubes.

Mar 14th

A photo of my internet tubes!

Mar 14th

Test post #1 to clean infected tumblr. internet tube…

Mar 14th

tumblr repair

JJtumblr: It appears your internet tubes are infected with grey scale.
David: Can you fix it?
JJtumblr: I'll have to clean out your tubes with this blow dryer.
David: Will this cost anything?
JJtumblr: Nah, it will be a case study.
David: I've been the subject of quite a few case studies.
JJtumblr: (looks around the room) Yes, I can see that!

Mar 14th

Let me be the first to say - HAPPY CATURDAY!!!

Mar 14th

Mar 14th

Automatic Sperm Deposit

David: Oh, that reminds me I have to set up "automatic deposit" with my sperm bank.
Peter: How often do you make deposits?
David: Lately only twice a month but I'm hoping to change it to weekly.
Peter: You probably ain't up for it.
David: The more I put in the more interest I'll get.
Peter: Whatever...

Mar 14th

Mar 14th

*8Track Mind*

Check out my new mix, Beatlesque, at http://8tracks.com/mixes/13803

Mar 14th

Penis Support Group

I just joined the Large Penis Support Group. I sure hope they can help me (us).

Mar 14th

Hold The Mayo!

David: So what have you been up to? How's your girlfriend doing?
Peter: I've been ejaculating daily in the mayonnaise, for about 7 weeks because Ileana won't blow me. Don't worry, I don't eat mayo. One way or another I figure she's getting my load in her mouth.
David: You really need to see an oral surgeon or break up with her.

Mar 14th

Mar 14th

Listen

Walkabouts - On The Beach

Mar 14th

The password is “admin.”

Mar 14th

tumblr. Dash Repair

I just got off the phone with tumblr. Dashboard Repair and they said they would be here tomorrow...

Mar 14th

Fun With Fonts! #3 DeJaVu (Damn my dashboard still spits...

Mar 14th

Fun With Fonts! #2 Rockwell

Mar 14th

Fun With Fonts! #1 Wingdings

Mar 14th

I grew up in a B&W world.

Mar 13th

“Ten kids accidentally drink windshield wiper fluid at day...”
— Drew (Fark)

Mar 13th

My new chair from where I be pimpin’ da’...

Mar 13th

My new hat. I be pimpin’ cows now…

Mar 13th

Mar 13th

Still in B&W mode. Can someone get the color back on?

Mar 13th

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

This still looks good in B&W!

Mar 12th

Car Borne Die Oxide

Mar 12th

This tumblr. is going black and white until further...

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

“Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception...”
— George Carlin

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

Whatchu Talkin' Bout?

Famed frontiersman Daniel Boone never wore a coonskin cap. He did, however, suffer from a medical...

Mar 12th

Mar 12th

UK Double Standard

It is believed that laws have been changed to get around the smoking ban and provide specialist...

Mar 12th

Mar 11th

Today's Work Memo

Tag citizen-media ad delivery with disintermediate long-tail web services. Be sure to remix...

Mar 11th

Slack, Bob, Yes…

Mar 11th

Lightning Strikes Thrice

In 1899 a man was killed by a bolt of lightning as he stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy....

Mar 11th

Mar 11th

Listen

Paul McCartney - Big Boys Bickering

Mar 10th

Mar 10th

Cigs Are Good

Often referred to as “Smoker’s Paradoxes”, there are a number of therapeutic uses of nicotine or...

Mar 10th

We also take pictures of screenshots and post them on the...

Mar 10th

We put up silly signs at work. A few people see the humor,...

Mar 10th

Holy, Holy, Holy…

Mar 10th

“Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One...”
— Grace Jones

Mar 10th

Mar 10th

“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a...”
— Demetri Martin

Mar 10th

Mar 10th

Listen

Voice Dude - Dr. Pepper’s Open Heart Club Sandwich

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

Lost Origins #5

Jake Superstition was mainly into gambling. Many good crap games sprang up around him. A pretty girl...

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

And Now The News

A British university is offering a degree in the Beatles. Incoming students ask, “The who?” to...

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

The Waiting Room

President Obama opened a White House forum last week, vowing to reform the nation’s costly and...

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

Celeb Visits

William Shitner just flew out of here in a rage. He says the spocks and spics are ruining this...

Mar 9th

Mar 9th

The Munsters

Lily likes giving head To a neighbor named Fred One day he’ll be dead And his sperm will be...

Mar 9th

I do need some new CD storage holders!

Mar 8th

Deaf

When friends find out that I’m hard of hearing (what?) they like to email me IN ALL CAPS!

Mar 8th

Thank God it’s Friday!

Mar 8th

Hemming & Hawing

Went to the dry cleaners yesterday and asked to have some pants hemmed. The counter guy asked if I...

Mar 8th

Mar 8th

“Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to...”
— G.K. Chesterton

Mar 8th

Caturday Catnip Time!

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”
— Bob Marley

Mar 7th

Listen

Roger Daltrey & Slash - No More Mr. Nice Guy

Mar 7th

Shittin’ bricks?

Mar 7th

“Quite a scare in Washington, D.C. today. Police were called...”
— Jay Leno

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

“Lustfully, his fingers fumbled with the zipper in searing...”
— (Drew/Fark)

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

“Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward...”
— Jasper Fforde

Mar 7th

It’s Caturday and my pussy is itchin’ to go...

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

Cow Twitter

I got to kill my own cow with a bolt gun… Police Seek Chick-fil-A Cow Tipper… Out of...

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

I'm A Twit (ter) Now

You can find me by searching dailycow or David R. Wyder. I’m tired of reading about Twitter...

Mar 7th

Mar 7th

Double click for larger view!

Mar 7th

I don’t remember ever posting this before.

Mar 6th

Listen

Mick Taylor - Leather Jacket

Mar 6th

Mar 6th

Cheeseburger

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging...

Mar 6th

Tastes good. May I have some more!

Mar 6th

8Tracks Mix

Keep It Warm Tracks Let Me - Paul Revere & The Raiders; Keep It Warm - Flo & Eddie;...

Mar 6th

A little casino play during lunch. I’m a head (err...

Mar 6th

Mar 5th

“All the things I really like to do are either illegal,...”
— Alexander Woollcott

Mar 5th

She told me to “come” over-so I did.

Mar 5th

Lost Origins #4

Current government propaganda was scare tactics mixed in with a good measure of guilt. Whenever the...

Mar 5th

Mar 5th

“There’s a mall that’s been playing Barry Manilow music to...”
— Craig Ferguson

Mar 5th

Mar 5th

“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
— Vince Lombardi

Mar 5th

Mar 5th

Read All About It!

Can you believe it? Somebody got the crazy idea that news mavens ...

Mar 5th

Watch

Chewing my cud during lunch hour.

Mar 4th

Mar 4th

Mar 4th

Titty Tuesday has a nice ring to it!

Mar 3rd

Lost Origins #3

Handsome crutch leg kneels at the altar and sacrifices poker chips for a fat lip. His intestines are...

Mar 3rd

Mar 3rd

Mar 2nd

God creates universe. Realizes mistake. Hides.

Mar 2nd

tumblr-ing thru another day…

Mar 2nd

BANK OF BOVINE

Stop giving all your hard-earned liquid and solid assets to Farmer Bob. Plop your asset in our bank...

Mar 2nd

Expecting 10 to 12 inches overnight!

Mar 2nd

“No senior citizen should ever have to choose between...”
— George W. Bush (private...

Mar 2nd

Mar 2nd

Funny Sayings

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep with a blueberry muffin. Bad news travel fast, unless your...

Mar 2nd

Mar 2nd

“In Europe they have taken half the cigarette packet to...”
— David Hockney

Mar 2nd

Mar 1st

IS POLE SIZE IMPORTANT?

As the winter snow cascades upon Mount Moo, I am stuck inside cleaning out the barn and glancing at...

Mar 1st