Daily Cow
2009
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January
Feb 1st
Feb 1st
“I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets...”
Feb 1st
Feb 1st
“Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity...”
— Dave Barry
Feb 1st
Feb 1st
Center Square
It is the most abused and neglected part of your body—what is it? Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but...
Feb 1st
Cold weather makes my nipples hard!
Feb 1st
Jan 31st
Rejected Gum Flavors
tuna corn armpit ear wax feet heavyweight boxer sweat shower drain crud opossum dust mite ...
Jan 31st
Happy Caturday! The cats are crowding the internet tubes!
Jan 31st
Lost My Cool
People have been asking me why I’m not cool anymore. I tell them I lost it all in a...
Jan 31st
Jan 31st
Jan 31st
Potty Slots!
Jan 31st
Jan 30th
DECALFEINATION BANNED
Folgers-A group of right-to-life heifers in New Mexicow stampeded legislators into banning...
Jan 30th
Jan 30th
Biosphere Bovines Die
Salt Lick City-Tragedy struck Biosphere II today when the oxygen supply into the enclosed 4 acre...
Jan 30th
Jan 30th
“I will make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
— Mario Puzo
Jan 30th
Jan 28th
“Life is strange. Come to find out, the only thing I’m...”
— Scott E. Roeben
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
“I’m not all that impressed with our next President after one...”
— Bean KROQ-FM
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
Bored Of Education
Griggs said she wanted to strengthen the curriculum. At the public housing development where she...
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
Heavy Hard Drive
Question: I’ve noticed that as I copy data/install programs on my Laptop, the weight of the...
Jan 28th
Jan 28th
The Headlines
Obama Bans All Lobbying in His Administration Bows to intense pressure from...
Jan 28th
Jan 27th
Jan 27th
"How Are You"
* “Good. Real good thanks to your mom.” * “I don’t have to answer that. You’re not my probation...
Jan 27th
Jan 27th
“Just say no to drugs. Keep saying no to them, no matter what...”
— Dennis McClain Furmanski
Jan 27th
Paul Lynde of Wit, Inc.
Jan 27th
Paul Lynde/Center Square
Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily....
Jan 27th
Jan 25th
“She don’t eat meat but she sure likes the bone!”
Jan 25th
Jan 25th
RAMdumb Notes #55
Changes in administration from Republican to Democrat use to mean a redistribution of the wealth....
Jan 25th
Jan 25th
“There’ll be no smoking in the gas chamber.”
— Jimi Hendrix
Jan 25th
He was hung like a horse…
Jan 25th
“For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV,...”
— Unknown
Jan 25th
Jan 25th
“Be less of a human doing and more of a human being.”
— Dave Hitt
Jan 25th
Jan 24th
Condoms Stimulate Economy
“You know, I’m concerned about the size of the package. And I’m concerned about...
Jan 24th
Happy Caturday! Diamond The Cat is enjoying some catnip...
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
RAMdumb Notes #54
Today is the day after my 54th day and I went to the dry cleaners to pick up some shirts. The young...
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
“Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy...”
— (Unknown)
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
Childish Humor
Q: What’s Blue and comes in Brownies? A: Cub Scouts
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
“Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y’know...”
— (Bookman/Character on...
Jan 24th
Jan 24th
“The only real problem in life is what to do next.”
— (unknown)
Jan 24th
Official Birthday Portrait. January 23, 2009.
Jan 24th
Another birthday. It’s OK Ma, I’m Still...
Jan 24th
Jan 22nd
“It’s not that life is too short, it’s that death...”
— Unknown
Jan 22nd
Jan 22nd
“In theory there is no difference between theory and...”
— Yogi Berra
Jan 22nd
Jan 22nd
Jan 22nd
Strange Death #3
Among other things, American playwright Tennessee Williams was rather fond of his nasal spray. While...
Jan 22nd
Jan 21st
“Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive,...”
— P. J. O’Rourke
Jan 21st
Jan 20th
Cow Knocks Over Woman On Bike
BOULDER, Colo.—A woman has escaped serious injury and has refused medical treatment after a cow...
Jan 20th
“Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should...”
— I.F. Stone
Jan 20th
Jan 20th
Strange Death #2
In the summer of 2001, Jean-Louis Toubon of Marseilles died while having sex with his girlfriend. He...
Jan 19th
Jan 19th
Strange Death #1
Orville Redenbacher, the popcorn king, might have survived his heart attack in 1995 if not for the...
Jan 19th
Jan 19th
“I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and...”
— Jay McInerney
Jan 19th
Mr. Weeder (Wyder)?
Jan 19th
Groaner #44
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of...
Jan 19th
Jan 18th
Bully Graham Dies
The music and religious world mourned the passing last night of Rev. Bully Graham who died when he...
Jan 18th
Jan 17th
Groaner #242
What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? “Endless Love”
Jan 17th
Jan 17th
Zero Cold
It was so cold this morning my nipples got hard when I went outside to retrieve the newspaper. It...
Jan 17th
3 degrees in Passaic, NJ! Happy Caturday! Stay warm...
Jan 17th
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build...”
— Nikita Khruschev
Jan 17th
Jan 17th
S.H.I.T.
Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also...
Jan 17th
Jan 17th
Overwatering The Plant
“The (economy’s) primary functions are agriculture, manufacture, and transportation....
Jan 17th
After the party is over, gridlock will continue…
Jan 17th
“Obama seemingly unaware of the kryptonite of corruption that...”
— AZRainman
Jan 17th
Jan 17th
“Government does not solve problems, it subsidizes them.”
— Ronald Reagan
Jan 17th
What a great idea!
Jan 17th
Latest in cow fashions…
Jan 17th
Groaner #12
I use to work at a fire hydrant factory but I had to quit because I couldn’t find a place to...
Jan 17th
Jan 16th
“Even a little dog can piss on a big building.”
— Jim Hightower
Jan 16th
Jan 16th
“Sex relieves tension, love causes it.”
— Woody Allen
Jan 16th
Jan 15th
“Toothbrushes to be removed from prison, prompting concerns...”
— Drew
Jan 15th
Jan 14th
Cold
If you think it’s cold here in the northeast U.S. you should see how cold it is on Uranus. At...
Jan 14th
Jan 14th
“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the...”
— Lyndon B. Johnson
Jan 14th
Jan 13th
Infinity
I live in an infinite universe of infinite universes. Some support life as we know it, some...
Jan 13th
Jan 13th
Groaner
“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly, I...
Jan 13th
Jan 12th
“Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.”
— Unknown
Jan 12th
It worked for me! I ran all my credit cards through and not...
Jan 12th
Jan 12th
“Real sex is Fats Domino. Bad sex is… Pat Boone.”
— Rev. Bleepo Abernathy
Jan 12th
Jan 11th
Jan 11th
“You don’t have a disease. You just live in New...”
— Unknown
Jan 11th
Jan 11th
“It’s not that life is too short, it’s that...”
Jan 11th
Frank Zappa with cat.
Jan 10th
“I am a man who pisses largely and frequently. This, they...”
— Henry Miller
Jan 10th
Caturday with snow! Unbeatable combo!!
Jan 10th
“Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers.”
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
“Advertising is a form of pollution. Much of it is as ugly as...”
— Arthur Hlavaty
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
“Congress should make more laws that made making laws that...”
— Newt Gingrich (For President)
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
“Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra...”
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
“The most important distinction is between biophiles and...”
— Erich “Squeaky”...
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
Jan 10th
George W. Bush Building
The George W. Bush Presidential Building (can’t call it a library) is now in the planning...
Jan 10th
Jan 9th
Jan 9th
Whatchu gonna do wit dat can, Andy?
Jan 9th
Jan 9th
Jan 8th
THE MILKY WAY
Cow prejudice. It’s rampant. Those who truly know us don’t bother refuting generalized...
Jan 8th
Jan 8th
“You know guys, Rummy fucked me in the ass and it hurt!”
— (George at lunch today)
Jan 8th
Ground control to Major Tom!
Jan 7th
Jan 7th
“That shit’s not gonna float!”
— Unknown
Jan 7th
Jan 7th
“What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean...”
— ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
Jan 7th
Jan 7th
Jan 7th
Jan 6th
Jan 6th
Jan 6th
CALVES OF THE CORN
The latest in a long line of tragedies to afflict cows is the current generation of calves who are...
Jan 6th
Jan 6th
Hole In One!
Jan 6th
CIA Turns to Google for Help Asks search giant if they need to put ...
Jan 6th
Jan 5th
“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time....”
— Thomas Szasz
Jan 5th
This is our brain on Monday…
Jan 5th
Jan 4th
Jan 4th
Cows
Oblivious to the passing traffic, they stand patiently under the cool shade of trees, chewing green...
Jan 4th
What a Caturday!
Jan 4th
“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”
— Albert Einstein
Jan 4th
Jan 2nd
Penis Propaganda Pamphlet
It grows larger with stimulation. It disperses a yellow or white liquid. It will fit in your...
Jan 2nd
Jan 2nd
Jan 2nd
“Wouldn’t life be much simpler if people just changed...”
— Penny Thoughts
Jan 2nd
Jan 1st
Books Read 12/08
Memories, Dreams & Reflections - Marianne Faithfull Dewey - Vicki Myron Clublife - Rob...
Jan 1st