Daily Cow
2009
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May 31st
PMS COW ATTACKS
Ticktown, New York-A field trip by students from Sherlock Holmes Elementary School to the Syphilis...
May 31st
Elvis flosses between cheeseburgers.
May 31st
“Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you get...”
— Satchel Paige
May 31st
Our new CD is out!
May 31st
Ker O Wack!
May 31st
May 31st
Uncle Sam’s a sadist!
May 31st
PosTits Wow!
May 31st
Smoking Barbie!
May 31st
Homer Twinkie (Sounds like a minor league outfielder)
May 31st
May 30th
War Crimes
Here’s what I want: it’s January 20, 2009. George W. Bush is leaving President...
May 30th
May 29th
May 29th
May 29th
Gopher ball in 6th lost game. Next start 6/3 vs. Toronto.
May 29th
“I destroy an enemy by making him my friend.”
— Abraham Lincoln
May 28th
May 28th
Another beautiful day. Diamond enjoys her daily walk.
May 28th
Do It USA! Do It China! Do It France! Do It India! Do It...
May 27th
Bye, Bye Memorial Day. War is never the answer.
May 27th
The Pentagon a building devoted to war. Why don’t we...
May 27th
This is overpopulation. Recycling or going...
May 27th
I despise Memorial Day. Why honor people who go to war?...
May 27th
Relax and be quiet.
May 27th
Smoking does NOT kill everyone who chooses to smoke!
May 27th
Lazy duck!
May 27th
It’s still a beautiful world. But for how long? And...
May 27th
Not an ATM but a CASH machine!
May 27th
May 26th
“Reality can destroy the dream; why shouldn’t the dream...”
— George Moore
May 26th
May 26th
Bipolar Child
When I was a child I was bipolar. We lived for six months in the North Pole and six months in the...
May 26th
May 26th
What Aholes?
Me:
You heard where the unelected prez said he gave up golf for the men and women fighting in Iraq?
Brother John:
That's nothing. After he did that I had to give up fucking his wife while he fooled around on the links.
May 26th
May 25th
“Sir, walk, or run, but don’t wobble.”
— Zen proverb
May 25th
May 24th
May 24th
“There’s a voyeur in the foyer watchin’ Bill...”
— David R. Wyder
May 24th
May 24th
Not a very good start. Gave up 3 HR’s… Next...
May 24th
May 22nd
“Whenever you get there, there’s no there there.”
— Gertrude Stein
May 22nd
May 21st
“Some say life is a gas. I just let it pass.”
— David R. Wyder
May 21st
May 20th
Overview Effect
In February, 1971, Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar Mitchell experienced the little understood phenomenon...
May 20th
May 19th
“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.”
— Jean-Paul Sarte
May 19th
May 19th
Quick Wit
ME:
I want to leave the world a better place when I die.
FRIEND:
It will be a better place when you leave it and die.
May 19th
May 19th
May 19th
Still can’t find Bin-Laden either!
May 18th
May 18th
“Just because everything is different doesn’t mean...”
— Irene Poter
May 18th
Bad 1st inning but recovered to retire 17 in a row. Next...
May 18th
May 17th
May 17th
May 17th
Fatigue, Jet Lag, Tired
I’m sleepwalking through the days and dreaming up a storm during the night. My body is wearing...
May 16th
Squirrel Droppings?
Research on squirrel droppings: Squirrels, like all rodents, have very small droppings. Their...
May 16th
May 16th
May 15th
Late Night with Conan
After Hillary won West Virginia, she said, “It’s not over, and I will never give up.” Then she flew...
May 15th
May 13th
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by...”
— Rudyard Kipling
May 13th
May 12th
Next start 5/17 vs. NY Mets
May 12th
Happy Mothers Day, Frank…
May 11th
Happy Mother’s Day Frank…
May 11th
Another picture of Mom with her long-haired son (back in the...
May 11th
My Mom who passed away about 15 years ago.
May 11th
Books Read In April
Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison Black Lies, White Lies - Tony Brown Rock Group Names - Adam...
May 11th
Happy Mother’s Day Frank!
May 11th
May 10th
May 10th
May 10th
May 10th
May 10th
May 10th
May 10th
May 9th
May 9th
Prom Dates 2008
A friend of mine at work needs a date for the prom in June. I worked up a nice prospectus of some...
May 9th
Damn dams! Damsels In Da Blue Dress…
May 9th
The Post Office. Hope they close them all soon…
May 9th
Dice Baseball
2=Triple 3=Double 6=Single 12=Homerun 11=Walk 4,5,7,8,9,10=Out Follow these imaginary games played...
May 7th
Ain’t misbehavin’
May 7th
Green Floyd?
In 1971, Pink Floyd performed at a “garden party” at a lake in a London suburb. The...
May 7th
May 7th
May 7th
May 7th
May 7th
“Every positive value has its price in negative terms, and...”
— Picasso
May 7th
May 7th
SUNday
What a beautiful day with no bills to pay! Outside where the walls don’t move and it is...
May 5th
May 4th
May 4th
May 4th
Yuck, Yuck
How did Helen Keller meet her boyfriend? She was set-up on a blind date.
May 3rd
Road Trip?
May 3rd
May 3rd
May 3rd
Back to the office. What to do, what to do…
May 3rd
After Twinkie smoke…
May 3rd
Lunch: Twinkies
May 3rd
May 3rd
May 3rd
IN SIP ID
In the darkness of the light We see what’s wrong with being right May does not rhyme with June...
May 3rd
Thank you again, Albert!
May 1st
May 1st
WHERE AM I?
Market for GPS Devices Nearing Saturation Those...
May 1st