Daily Cow: Archive

Livin' In The USA

Mar 31st

Very Punny

A jumper cable walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, 1. “I’ll serve...

Mar 31st

Very Punny

If you have sugar on both your hands wouldn’t that make you ambi-dextrose?

Mar 31st

This is Diamond. She’s a cat. Notice the...

Mar 30th

My grandson JC is coloring inside the lines. This one is...

Mar 30th

Here’s my grandaughter Jennifer’s version. This...

Mar 30th

“…She’s gonna work in the office where her...”
— (Chris Rock on Hillary...

Mar 30th

Mar 29th

“Cheney, who took five consecutive draft deferments to stay...”
— Helen Thomas

Mar 29th

Mar 28th

“Never believe in mirrors or newspapers.”

Mar 28th

Mar 26th

“It’s the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war. How...”
— Bill Maher

Mar 26th

“Where do you suppose Condi Rice is? My guess is that she’s...”
— Alan Bisbort

Mar 26th

“When young, we are pushed around in strollers, when old,...”
— Tom Robbins

Mar 26th

THE ARTIST IN EASY TIMES

Times are easy artists copulate freely with the public mind fucks & everybody comes to their...

Mar 26th

Bob Dylan's Wit #2

Harrison asked Bob Dylan to sing one of his biggest hits during the 1971 fund-raising concert for...

Mar 26th

CHINA CAT SUNFLOWER

Grateful Dead lyricist Robert Hunter explained how he came up with the words for “China Cat...

Mar 26th

Mar 25th

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To...”
— Buckminster Fuller

Mar 25th

“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer...”
— Edward Abbey

Mar 25th

SPLAT

for physics we simultaneously dropped two dissimilar bodies from the gym roof and now matter how...

Mar 25th

GRANT ME A GRANT

dear National Endowment for the Arts I’ve written a play THE LAST TURD Christ dying on the...

Mar 25th

Mar 24th

Mar 23rd

tumblr email box

Chuck of NJ describes our tumblr as: “Suzy Creamcheese goes to Washington with a carton of ...

Mar 23rd

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they...”
— Gertrude Stein

Mar 23rd

DHARMA BABY

“The rain on the roof is the voice of Buddha,” I said. “The flushing of the toilet...

Mar 23rd

Mar 22nd

DID JESUS EVER COME?

Did Jesus ever ejaculate, masturbate or have a wet dream? Was Jesus aware of his cock and...

Mar 22nd

“I consider myself a peasant.”
— (Insisted Lady Linda...

Mar 22nd

“Someone has somewhere commented on the fact that millions...”
— Dudley Erwin

Mar 22nd

THE HUMAN HANGNAIL

History is deleted and refashioned by minds bent on doctrine Freedom is preserved by elected...

Mar 22nd

Mar 21st

TWINKIES AND ROOT BEER

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his...

Mar 21st

“We can fly, you know. We just don’t know how to think...”
— Michael Jackson

Mar 20th

Jagger & Richards

Mar 20th

Open The Damn Door!

Transparency advocates hold closed door session.

Mar 20th

Letter To Dick Morris

Dear Dick Morris, It is apparent that most people have forgotten your betrayal of the “public...

Mar 20th

Mar 19th

“I tattooed my brain all the way.”
— (Syd Barrett)

Mar 19th

The Condom State

Perhaps New Jersey should come up with a new motto that proudly proclaims it the “Condom...

Mar 19th

Safe sex? More bang for the buck? Making a night deposit?

Mar 18th

tumblr. URL's

{pleasure in the details} http://myownmelt.tumblr.com/ Net Wanderings http://seadour.tumblr.com/...

Mar 18th

Nap time at Blind Cow Publications…

Mar 17th

The Wit Of Bob Dylan

Zeppelin’s manager Peter Grant attended a party in 1974. Grant went up to Bob Dylan, but...

Mar 17th

“Do you like pain and tire chains and Hostess Twinkies?”
— Gene Simmons of Kiss

Mar 17th

Rock N' Roll

Ray Davies of the Kinks once tried to be like Keith Moon and destroy his hotel room. “I threw...

Mar 17th

Monday, Monday…

Mar 17th

This is pretty much how I feel today. Dilapidated and...

Mar 17th

Books read this year as of 3/16/08: 19

Mar 16th

tumblr descriptions #3

Oh Definitely. My name is Jen. I live in New York City. I’m in a sketch comedy group called...

Mar 16th

“Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing...”
— Thomas Jefferson

Mar 16th

This Morning

While you go to church I’ll take a hot enema then go out walking in the freezing rain with no...

Mar 16th

Still free and hurting us all. Should be in jail where he...

Mar 16th

A Question

When the Queen of England goes to the toilet does she get a royal flush?

Mar 16th

Congestion

New Jersey has more autos per square mile (699) than any other state. There are 5.9 million drivers...

Mar 16th

“I sound like a cross between Hank Williams with the croup...”
— Gregg Allman

Mar 16th

Mar 15th

“My fantasy guitar would be a cannon that shot sperm at the...”
— Angus Young of AC DC

Mar 15th

Spitzer’s spritzer at Top Hill Farms 2007!

Mar 13th

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to...”
— James Connolly

Mar 13th

“A library is thought in cold storage.”
— Carl Sandburg

Mar 13th

Mar 12th

“The major civilizing force in the world is not religion,...”
— Hugh Hefner

Mar 12th

“Chastity is the cement of civilization and progress.”
— Mary Baker Eddy

Mar 12th

“REMINDER: The only thing we have to fear is a phone call at...”

Mar 12th

“History is more or less bunk. It’s tradition. We...”
— Charles N. Wheeler

Mar 11th

Feedlot Cow

I want to graze in a field of green Lay down under a tree and feel serene I want to have a calf to...

Mar 11th

Kathy's Tits

Kathy’s tits are Bubblicious, Round and pink like gum, Kathy’s tits are most delicious,...

Mar 11th

than she hit me

the teacher said it’s wrong to copy so I pointed out to her that every teacher says the ...

Mar 11th

Paint My House

A commuter from New Jersey drives through the Lincoln Tunnel and into Times Square. At a red light,...

Mar 11th

Mar 10th

Fear and Loathing March 2008

Mar 10th

Dracula's Cow

She’s the reason why all the farmer’s wear crosses on their collars here in Transylvania...

Mar 10th

“Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our...”

Mar 10th

Mar 9th

There Was Time #2

They cast no reflection in the mirror and no prints could be dyed in the ink and they excreted no...

Mar 9th

The wizard of Passaic Park, New Jersey casts a spell in...

Mar 9th

There Was Time #1

All the people were transformed from blood and bones to replicas, copies, facsimilies, photos,...

Mar 8th

“Go home and read a book.”
— Grace Slick explaining to an...

Mar 8th

Mar 7th

Scud launcher…

Mar 7th

Postits

Mar 7th

PUN

Q: What do you call a duck that just doesn’t fit in? A: Mallardjusted.

Mar 7th

Ingredients: Sensitive, shy, sweet, sarcastic, modest,...

Mar 7th

“Looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like...”

Mar 7th

“If you want to truly understand something, try to change it.”
— Kurt Lewin

Mar 7th

Mar 6th

Just another day at the office…

Mar 6th

Paper Clips

Out of an average 100 paper clips 20 will be used to hold papers together 25 will end up in the...

Mar 6th

War criminal. Election(s) stealer. Economy wrecker....

Mar 6th

AE

All the world’s a stage. And most of us Are desperately unrehearsed. (If all the world’s...

Mar 6th

Dems Meds!

Mar 6th

“The quieter you become the more you can hear.”
— Ram Dass

Mar 6th

Mar 5th

Mushrooms w/o The Field Guide

Our cud is chewed to a frazzle and the roof of our mouth has caved in after twenty-five years of...

Mar 5th

General Confusion

Mar 5th

The Computer Politic

memory (forget it), mouse (trap it) user-friendly? (bash it), motherboard (uh huh), refresh rate...

Mar 5th

“Every person on earth had to be potty trained.”

Mar 5th

For some reason, I prefer deep blue.

Mar 4th

Nap time!

Mar 3rd

Mar 2nd

High Hopes Low Life?

Mar 2nd

Dressed for sucksess?

Mar 2nd

Today we talk politics. Tomorrow we talk politics. Politics...

Mar 2nd

Mar 1st

Smoking

Inhale. Deep breath, that’s it. No no, don’t hack like that. It’s good, That hearty lungful of...

Mar 1st

Death By Twinkie

Twinkies are the yummiest things in the world. Oh how I love to lick and suck that wonderful creamy...

Mar 1st

Daily Cow

2009

2008

2007

Livin' In The USA

Very Punny

Very Punny

THE ARTIST IN EASY TIMES

Bob Dylan's Wit #2

CHINA CAT SUNFLOWER

SPLAT

GRANT ME A GRANT

tumblr email box

DHARMA BABY

DID JESUS EVER COME?

THE HUMAN HANGNAIL

TWINKIES AND ROOT BEER

Open The Damn Door!

Letter To Dick Morris

The Condom State

tumblr. URL's

The Wit Of Bob Dylan

Rock N' Roll

tumblr descriptions #3

This Morning

A Question

Congestion

Feedlot Cow

Kathy's Tits

than she hit me

Paint My House

Dracula's Cow

There Was Time #2

There Was Time #1

PUN

Paper Clips

AE

Mushrooms w/o The Field Guide

The Computer Politic

Smoking

Death By Twinkie